Im writing because I need somewhere to talk about being abused by my bf. or whatever he is... he's the type of guy I wanted to be with when I was younger except not the person on the inside that I was looking for. I've made a fursuit for him but he hasn't even tried once to fuck me in it. took him to burning man and we never had sex there even once. spent months trying to gain his trust so we could have a three way, even asked for a open thing because he didn't wanna engage with me in a three way setting.... I wanted to be loyal to him which is why I asked for a open thing.
he's housed me for a couple years but he's just been so mean to me. I feel dimminished inside. I blame him for wasting my life , all these years waiting for him and wanting a friend to do things with. he never tried to engage with me on any of the things I wanted... when I'd make a huge deal about it and almost force him or myself into the situation he would end up liking the experience.
Im so tired of having to force him into a situation... I want a leader that I can go into a situation into.
I feel so alone, Im sad and just feel like my life is a waste, that I can become nothing with him in the picture.
I wanted him so badly to wanna have a life with me. I've put off my life for years.
I don't do well in a relationship... I just wanna have a fwb situation, a life partner that wants to have kinky sex and explore the world with me.
I don't know how to leave this situation.
I wanna go so badly
where can I go? it's right in the middle of a corona outbreak of 2020..
I don't have a job or a future right now , I don't know how to proceed in all this chaos.
I wish the aliens would just come help me. help me find a way to get out of this.
I am so stupid
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